So in case you haven’t already heard on Twitter, in a few hours I’ll be going to Los Angeles for the open casting call for Mahalo Daily.  Most of tonight I’ve found myself staring at the ceiling and trying to figure out why I would even be interested in taking such a drastic new direction in my career.

The first person who ever made me think I could be "famous on the Internet" was Stile from stileproject.com.  Here’s a little insight about Stile…as much as this guy acts like the P. T. Barnum of porn, he’s really a pretty damn smart guy.  It was the smarts that convinced me that as long as I never had any aspirations to run for public office, an affiliation with an adult site such as Camwhores wasn’t as dangerous as it seemed.  So I joined, and the return on my investment was an outlet for a really unconventional means of self-expression, and a whole heck of a lot of attention.

Tonight I’ve realized how my perspective on attention has matured over the years.  Back then, I harnessed it to fuel me through periods of low self-esteem, but my goal now isn’t to keep any of it for myself.  Through my efforts with BarCamp San Diego and even Startup Schwag, I see myself turning into an attention director.  A lot of this happens publicly, but more and more every single day I find myself working one on one to make big things happen.  I’m not quite sure how to sustain this yet, but I know I can’t live without that sense of satisfaction from connecting people with the ideas they need.

Not only would a job with Mahalo give me the inertia to do this even more, but I suddenly realized that’s what Mahalo’s all about. Making those personal connections between people and ideas. Wow.

I confess that I’ve never done a podcast in my whole life (Theatre minor, don’t fail me now), and I can’t yet explain exactly how the sum of my past experiences has led up to what I’ll find myself facing tomorrow.  But some Truth deep within me says that no matter what the outcome is, this is an important step to take.  Besides, I’ve got the opportunity, and if I don’t at least try I’ll kick myself in a few years wondering what would have happened.